It's that magical time of year again: the Presidential Primary. Where my blood pressure spikes and I love/hate my life. Today, starting at 7:00 PM, we have the first vaguely debate-like thing. The Voters First Presidential Forum. Yeehaw.
6:55 PM - This college is pretty nice.
6:56 PM - I wonder why New Hampshire doesn't move their primary to before the Iowa Caucuses, then they could get even more unwarranted attention
6:57 PM - They're really adamant about this no applause thing.
6:59 PM - Rick Perry is wearing the most garish tie I have ever seen. And he keeps licking his lips.
7:00 PM - Am I crazy or are half the candidates not there? And no, I don't mean Trump and Huckabee.
7:01 PM - I feel bad for everyone just standing there, staring at the crowd, with nothing to do.
7:02 PM - I love that Rubio, Cruz, and Paul are off in their little satellite room, like they're in a time out.
7:03 PM - Oh sure, I'm sure it was drawn "randomly". Whatever you say, buddy.
People still care about immigration? This ought to be good.
7:04 PM - Rick Perry is up first. I feel like he got a speaking coach, I can actually understand what he's saying now, unlike the last time around.
7:05 PM - I think Rick Perry just came out in support of drone-defended borders.
7:06 PM - Rick Perry comparing visas to UPS, refuses to take stance on them.
7:07 PM - How does an economy have a "2% GDP"? Somehow Rick Perry made an economic question about education reform. "Regulations that drive the income tax down?"
7:08 PM - Rick Santorum rambling about "support" versus subsidies.
7:09 PM - He has now come out in support of higher taxes than Rand Paul, for some reason.
7:11 PM - The only way to create jobs, according to Santorum, is targeted tax breaks and increased manufacturing.
7:12 PM - Rick Santorum takes a parting blow at Mitt Romney. Four years too late.
7:13 PM - John Kasich comes out softer on immigration reform than both Perry and Santorum. Not firebranding it up.
7:14 PM - Kasich comes out in favor of a balanced budget, cites role in Ohio.
7:16 PM - Oh, and he also wrote the entire budget. Six times.
7:17 PM - Graham plans to "push back" against China, unfair trade practices. Comes out EXTREMELY hawkish, no surprise there.
7:18 PM - Wants to fight radical Islam with "whatever it takes" (Including trillions of dollars?)
7:19 PM - We're still riding on Reagan, apparently.
7:20 PM - He sees threats, everywhere. Needs more troops (despite America having more than anyone else in the world.)
7:21 PM - Chris Christie has lost a lot of weight. And gained a lot of war featheres.
7:22 PM - Christie comes out in support of raising the retirement age, advocates having "a plan"
7:23 PM - I think Christie wants to end the VA.
7:24 PM - I think I just see dollar signs pouring out of Christie's mouth every time he speaks.
Sees solution to drug war as more treatment, not an end to mandatory minimums.
7:25 PM - Ben Carson is sixth. I originally said fifth, but that's only because I forgot about Kasich.
7:26 PM - He sounds like he's constantly out of breath.
7:27 PM - He's mostly telling stories without any kind of policy proposals.
7:28 PM - And mostly entirely talking about health care. First laugh of the night by calling bureaucrats stupid.
7:29 PM - Comes out against Planned Parenthood funding.
7:30 PM - Cites God in his tax plan. Jeb Bush pops up.
7:31 PM - Jeb Bush currently trying to out-hawk Lindsey Graham, says America is not safe because of "tweets". Cites support for "strategy".
7:32 PM - Jeb Bush thinks engaging with the world solely involves air and military power.
7:33 PM - 2% growth is "anemic" according to Bush. Need "secure world" to grow economy, which can obviously only be accomplished through overseas adventurism.
7:34 PM - Heh, Bush just got cut the heck off. Carly Fiorina is up, advocates preserving the "status crow"
7:36 PM - I'm pretty sure she's just copying some weird combination of Jeb Bush and Rick Perry. Advocates spending less money, than proposes spending more money.
7:38 PM - First Hillary Clinton character slam of the night. Is it sexist they waited for another woman?
7:39 PM - Bobby Jindal comes out against hyphens, credits Bernie Sanders for coming out as socialist, claims that Clinton and Obama are "just as bad".
7:40 PM - Comes out in support of "doing".
7:41 PM - Unlike some opponents, is a fan of "math".
7:42 PM - Supports arming troops as well.
7:44 PM - Scott Walker supports balanced plan between economy, environmental issues.
7:46 PM - Tax plan doesn't involve cutting taxes, but "putting them back" to the states.
7:47 PM - Focuses on his strength in education and labor reform.
7:48 PM - Seriously, does anyone else not remember who George Pataki is?
7:49 PM - Cites "Obamacare" as a federal agency.
7:50 PM - Pulls a Santorum, supports an increase in American manufacturing.
7:51 PM - Claims we have the "best workforce" in the world, which is why there are much less manufacturing jobs in the country?
7:52 PM - Hot damn, someone I care about is talking. #StandWithRand
7:53 PM - Rand Paul correctly notes you can engage with the world in a way that doesn't involve bombs.
This is exhausting. I'm going to Twitter.
https://twitter.com/TylerGroenendal
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